A Clarification On Who These People I Talk About Are

Okay, I figured...I should be nice and explain just who exactly every one is. Y'know, the standard Cast List type deal.

Monkeypants (MP): AKA Crystal. One of the people I truly love. I also currently life with her and her family. She seems to be having a hard time growing used to my having roomates, but is also starting to get stressed because we are always so close. Want to test a relationship? Put the two in close quarters for several months. But she still cares for me, and gives me strength. Which I do greatly appreciate. She is training to become a nurse, sometimes I think she's afraid of just what exactly she's gotten herself into, but other times she seems to truly enjoy it. I suppose time will tell with that. I have a bad habit of going to her with all my medical needs, as though her having a year's studies under her belt makes her an expert. And yes, she does know her shit, but it's kind of rude to expect her to know everything. She is someone who I truly enjoy being with, when we finally let our defenses relax and get to actually interact.

Darque Angel (DA): AKA Jasmine. She's my first love, and will stay that way. She takes care of me in ways that no one else can. She encourages me to come to terms with all of who I am. Even the parts that a normal person would have me locked up for thinking I had. She encourages my imagination and plays with the right side of my brain. I am also lucky enough to have in her someone who knows and accepts that i get so muddled in my head that sometimes I need someone to help me do the most simplistic things. She qualms the inner beast. And has a thousand times more patience with me than anyone else - especially when I'm getting muddled and start snarking. She is currently working, and providing as much as she can for the two of us. I appreciate it immensely, even though I feel guilt for not contributing myself. But above all, I love her. I can't leave her - she's a part of me. Like Anita to Damian. I wear her mark proudly, and would do anything she asked of me if it were in my power.

Emerald Blaze: AKA Steph. My closest companion who doesn't fall under the "person I love in the g/f sense' category. We tend to drift closer and farther apart, depending on how we are both doing in our own lives. We provide a strange support stucture for one another. She is one of the few people I can have a hysterically funny conversation with concerning the 'film noir' side of life. A great person to talk to. I hope that despite our driftings I will never lose her, as she is a valuable piece of myself in many ways.

Allanon: AKA Patrick. Blaze's Partner. I think he's cool, we have many similar interests (even if he can kick my ass at DDR). It took me forever to finally get into a comfortable kind of friendsship with him, rather than a "I have to like you because you're dating my friend" thing. I really do think he's cool, and would love to spend some time with him just shooting the shit. That is, if only one of us was actually prone to starting conversations. you never know. I am tempted to ask if he'd be interested in helping me bring some of my art projects into being, because I think in the sense of getting the technology aspect of it working, he'd be a blast, and probably have a great bunch of suggestions. The Sky's the limit.

Wahine: AKA Becca/Becky. Monkey Pants' sister, and a strange comrade to myself, if only because we were both conveniently locked away for being crazy at the same time, and I really don't give a shit about her choices in life (well, I mean, I don't want her jumping off a bridge if it's avoidable, but you know what I mean) She somehow weaseled her way into the people-I-care-about list, and even if my relationship with MP turned into fire and brimstone, I would still hold an affinity towards Wahine. Even if she would then want to kill me because, well, that's what sisters are supposed to do, right?

Christ: AKA Christian. Initially he was known to me as the annoying boy that hung around Wahine and was seemingly whipped by every female in the household. Amazing how sharing a house with someone for a few months will change things. He's turned into a friend to me, someone who has a lot of similar interests, particularily in all that geeky stuff like computers, games and comic books. Also one of the few people that all the roomies just seemed to naturally trust, and so far he hasn't betrayed it. He shows a lot of interest in what I do, and what's going on in my crazy life. Which is both flattering, and sometimes a little irritating, but it passes. And it's not like I don't do anything that's annoying (I'm hearing someone mumbling something about cheese drool as I type this). He is someone who I think I would make an effort to keep in contact with, even if everything went completely to hell between him and Wahine. I now feel empathy for anyone who used to be caught in any of the lover's quarrels I used to have.

DeadlyPoison (DP): AKA Kristin. One of those people who you meet because your friends have friends, and they have friends, and you all go out and do something. I think we initially bonded (yes, this is kind of off) due to our both having practiced Self Injury (though mine had stopped at that time) and we just kind of started to get to know eachother through talking online/doing...well, no, actually, it's mostly online. But I really do consider her part of my chosen family. I see in her much of what I was like at around that age...probably a little more in depth than she or I would like, but what can ya do? *laughs* maybe one day we'll be able to organize getting together that won't be cancelled one way or another.

Nikolaos: AKA Becky. Yes, two Beckys. Go figure. Anyhow, I don't get to speak of her too much anymore, but we used to talk, and seeing as there was a whopping set of train tracks between her school and mine, not to mention her sister ChibiMeliantha attended the same school I did, we used to interact a fair bit. I used to do Tarot readings for her, and I think just acted as the kinda eight-ball type person. I miss her now that I don't get to see her very often. Maybe it will change; maybe we will end up drifting just because the world can be a bitch. We'll see.

Psycho Angel: AKA Vanessa. One of the few people from school I still talk to. Really very cool, we get on like Ice and skates. All sorts of interesting smarts, and that similar sense of humor that makes trading an orange for some welfare soup a natural conversation topic, and things like "I can smell your brains" funny. She's one of the big things I miss about ACAD. Hopefully one of those people I will stay in touch with.

Peasantwench: AKA Morgan. The ex-best friend. We lived a little in eachother's heads during the worst of things, and now that we aren't there anymore, I scare her by reminding her of that time. We had fallen into a trap of being unable to change our relationship as we changed and so I suffered the loss of a great friend. Maybe we'll fall back into each other's lives again at a later date, as that's the way we seem to go. I hope her all the best.

Shea: Brother number one. The guy I would go and comfort after my mother would freak and smack him one. He was the only one of us who spent a large chunk of time with my mother. Seven years I think. And this is perhaps part of why he too is messed up beyond all reason. He is a skater, plays Basketball and has become, much to my distaste, one of the "popular" people. He's a smart kid once you get him out of his "I am cool, I have no brain" mode. He's matured a lot this past year, and I really enjoy talking to him when I can have his ear to myself.

Brendan: The youngest of the three of us (siblings I mean). I used to say he was the most innocent of the three of us, but now that he's hitting Jr. High, that was torn from him faster than he, or I would have liked. He tends to be a bit of a geek, which unfortunately makes him a target, abd because he feels down, he takes it out on those around him whenever he can. But he also tends to show signs of turning the insecurities inwards. I worry about him following my path in that case. The whole unhappiness problem is not being helped much by the fact that he has an extremely religious step-mother, and three step sisters. He's the sweety, the teddy bear. He has been blessed with curiousity, and as he matures, his wit and intellect comes up to speed. I only hope he continues to push his interests, as he has great potential to contribute to the world in great ways.

Nana: My grandmother on my father's side. A key influence in my life, as she provided a large portion of my guidance, and still does. I think she intuitively knows she needs to get me out of my father's house, and seems to be trying. She is a wonderful woman, who cares for everyone, and has become "Nana" to nearly everyone who has had the fortune to interact with her. She's 86 and is in her final preparations to die. It is not encouraging.

And finally, Jim: My cousin. the man who sexually molested me since I was nine all the way to but three years ago. Oddly, I feel guilty for telling anyone and having it stopped. I feel as though I mislead him into doing what he did...and yet, I was the one who was crying no and trying to push him off of me. There are still things to be dealt with over this one.

Then of course, there are my Parents, who get a page all to themselves.

And there you have it. The people.
"They were created that they would be sent for... and they never had a choice."

Now you know of them, but what about Me

17.06.2003 - 21:40

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