Trying

Spoke with Dr.F yesterday. it was good. I was happy, and she was obviously happy for me aswell. things were at a relaxed level. she wasn't challenging me on anything...I think she knew how much I had been challenging myself as of late. She's undoubtedly one of the few who truly understands that. I also asked her for something MP wanted help with, but I am worried that the help came in a form that MP is not willing to accept. This worries me because there really isn't anything better out there right now...and I'm feeling kind of angry/frustrated by this partially because it's that whole thing where I think she's turning down help for something she can't just do on her own, and also partially because it's still in the two day range of my last shot so I'm snarky.

My mother ran her hands along my back while I was typing out an email for her the other day, and I had my undershirt on, which hse noticed and staryted criticising me for "wearing something so tight that digs into your shoulders so much" and I just...she wouldn't stop touching me, and I was to far into defensive mode to want to open up that I am very very touchy about my undershirt. I've only very recently started letting MP even see it. it was just bad bad bad. My mother drives me bonkers so often. And I know she doesn't do it intentionally. Bah, I don't know. I'm very tired, so I should go to bed. I just figured I should make some little jot in here.

19.07.2006 - 23:59

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