Blood. The Projective Geometry Version of Duality

Citronella candles don't actually make mosquitos go away. They simply mask the smell of blood so the skeeters look elsewhere to the more obvious places first/instead. So it makes me wonder if in several hundreds of years they will adapt and some little response thing will equate Citronella with fat, easy meals.

MP slammed her head into mine during a fight last night. we were having an argument, and eventually I just gave up with the squelching (it was a buildup of about three other events similar to that one, I was honestly trying not to be a complete dick) and said that no, in fact MP was the problem - at which point she sat up/damn near flew off the bed before i could explain how she was the problem, but in so flying rammed her forehead into my eyebrow thereby embedding the spike end on the Barbell in my eyebrow into her forhead, giving her a wonderful bruise and breaking skin, and mashed the edge of the other spike into my upper eyelid gashing it open a little, but considering the area, it bled fucking good and swelled up quite quickly, which of course I have nothing to show for now but I can sure feel it. At least it bled when it happened. mind you, so did she. Apparently she's telling the world she hit her head on a shelf. so..uhm...You are now vowed to silence. Or something.

I don't know what to do. things seem to be falling apart. I'm touchy because I'm back to being a hormonally imballanced boy, and because I really don't know what's "normal" and what isn't. (imagine having gone through puberty with no one around to tell you what to expect or reassure you that yes, indeed that is normal. The internet just doesn't hack it.) I'm also not getting any good sleep since it's too hot upstairs, and I can't sleep with MP downstairs 'cause I'm sleeping too lightly to have her as a bed partner - everyone already knows that no sleep makes me a nasty person on the best of times. She's the way she usualy is, which is horribly insecure about most anything and everything, eternally finding new things to beat herself up over/reasons to get defensive and angry, and now the added problems of her knowing probably less about the shit I'm going through than I do. Well, not all the time, sometimes her handy nurse brain beats me to the punch, but still, I live with this crazy shit every day. she sorta only gets glimpses into it in an every now and again sort of fashion. In short, she's on a short fuse, and I'm more agressive which can sometimes mean I communicate better since I'm not afraid of hurting people by being honest, but often means I really just wanna vent in some loud/physical manner.

I keep getting hurt every 2-3 days. as in break skin hurt. Tired of this now. sort of like I'm tired of getting hungry every ~3 hours, and I'm tired of my body being in constant "sex? sex now?" mode, when my head is so fucking tired that I couldn't get anywhere if the goddess of lust and passion came down and gave me head. I'm okay with everything else right now I think, just those ones are running thin on the cool department. The most noticeable changes for me seem to happen near the end of each injection's run. So we'll see if I have more to add to the list come next sunday.

10.07.2006 - 22:27

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